You can pick up a paper book copy here. Available for Kindle here.
More versions coming later…yes, really! I’ve delayed publication while in queue for reviews (see right side of photo above).
You can pick up a paper book copy here. Available for Kindle here.
More versions coming later…yes, really! I’ve delayed publication while in queue for reviews (see right side of photo above).
Here’s a preview of a review of my book. Blue Ink will soon publish it. There are some mild spoilers here, but since the book engages with Fate, I think it’s fine.
You can pick up a paper book copy here. Available for Kindle here.
More versions coming later.
Quote…
Here you can pick up a paper book version of LAMP EYES, LOOK OUT!
It’s available on Kindle here.
Further paper and ebook versions will arrive soon.
The West is in decline.
A man lost his ability to see the future. To try to restore this strategic asset, a government physicist has been whirling him in a centrifuge. When the former seer blacks out, he dreams. But these dreams aren’t profound—they’re ridiculous sitcoms.
Now an Army psychoanalyst arrives to find out what happened to him…
The two women who love and confound him. Strange incidents after a Beethoven string quartet. Ghoulish confrontations at a Halloween Party. Communication with a hominid cannibal. A lighthouse built by Freemasons.
Can analysis of the absurd dreams lead to a restoration of the West’s confidence and optimism? What happens when a man perceives fate and tries to stop it?
180 pages.
Lamps Eyes, Look Out! is available exclusively on Kindle Unlimited until mid January 2018. The price for members is free; for others it’s only $2.99. In late January 2018, the novel will be available in paper from Infinity Publications. It will also be available in all common eBook formats.
Chapter 10 of the MYSTERIOUS MATTERS OF MAX METTERS podcast (a kind of audiobook) is now available ( http://petergelman.podomatic.com ).
Samples:
“Hey man, I thought all you punk rockers was x-tinct stuffed and mounted in the Smithsonian parking lot right after the moon rockets.”
* * *
“Oceans and beaches of the she-shore — she leavened her dreamy bread with eyes like fists.”
This is a climactic chapter which ends the first half of the “maximalist” novel. As their relationship buckles and cracks, Meri STILL doesn’t tell Max her secret, and out of pride, Max refuses to ask. Drinking downtown (in the 1980s), Max and his friends ponder such things as the middle aged Baby Boomers, their own nameless punk rock generation, rapid changes to the Minneapolis skyline, Cold War problems, the Rainbow Warrior, and angst in the local women who wear little hats. Then the answer to Meri’s secret comes suddenly a-crashing down on Max.
The length of this episode is about 43 minutes.
I’m having a great time at the Seattle International Bicycle Expo with Neal Skorpen. Neal gave two fabulous presentations about his bicycle cartoon work. I’m here to learn, while selling audio CDs of some of my bike stories (including the as-yet-unreleased Mysteries of the Bicycle Explained #9), spreading the word about the anthologies Bicycle Love and Traffic Life. Neal’s cartoon products are selling madly. We’re even selling some installments of Island of the Moths (which has draisines – early 19th Century proto-bikes; in fact I saw a kid on a modern draisine at the Expo today).
As you might expect, this convention is quite a bit different than the Stumptown Comic Fests I’ve been attending the past three years (and again next month). The average age at this Expo is much higher. The vendors tend to be bigger and without any edginess (think: REI v. Dark Horse Comics). And there’s much less DIY weird, potent creativity, more mainstream commercial and community activism. So where do I fit in? That’s the learning experience. Of course the focus of the sport is not arts & culture, but I feel welcome enough to try to make my mark. Today was pretty cold and wet in our booth under the big tent. I’m looking forward to coming back next year to promote my bicycle adventure novel, illustrated by Neal, due out late this coming summer.
And it’s great to be back in Seattle (Portland’s big sister). The Seattlites I’m meeting at the Expo are so enthusiastic about bikes! And they’re so kind as to exalt Portland in that enthusiasm.
I found out yesterday that the Recession has reached me, proving that the trickle-down theory does work. My main client’s dramatic decline in sales means not enough new projects for freelancers (like me), and maybe not enough for all the employees.
Laugh at the long shadows! Yes the ill effect on me is obvious. But I’d like to think that this will help me bring more of my prose to offer the public. I have a huge backlog of work to share, and more in various stages of production.
MOBE episode 8 link via podomatic
MOBE episode 8 link via podshow
RSS Feed: http://www.podshow.com/feeds/mobe.xml
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This is Mysteries of the Bicycle Explained #8. “This Machine Cures Melancholia” by Peter Gelman. Concerns a winter bike ride in Portland. Bad moods, names for mountains, the pleasures of learning Spanish. A Kapow! The virtues of Mexican cactus thorns and tire slime. A lesson about fixing tire gashes, and about superpower money. Ms. Bolt of Speed! Faster and Faster. This story was published in a U.S. bike magazine, and also in Traffic Life, a Canadian anthology still available via its website trafficlife.com. My website is dangerquestmysteries.com. I wrote this story in the late 1990s. This is a recording from last spring and I hope you will forgive the sound imperfections. (I’m still working on figuring out better equipment. The microphone I bought produces a terrible hum.) Thanks for listening!
Mysteries of the Bicycle Explained podcast #6 “The Cyclo-Pimpernel in the Adventure of the Free French-Munchie Ambush”… MP3 link 1– link 2 – link 3 – . It seems to take time for some of the links to function well, but I hope you can access it through link 1 or 2 right now.
As you may know, the original Scarlet Pimpernel is an adventure hero invented by Orczy early in the 20th century, set during the French revolution. This hero has typical super abilities (unalloyed Goodness, fencing, craftiness, bravery, master of disguises) but one unusual and interesting characteristic: an effete persona. His aristo- foppishness stands in contrast to his true vital abilities, but also in contrast with his direct, brutal French characters of the Terror.
Now let us sweep forward a hundred years to a time of what people call the global war on terror. You may recall the time when Rumsfeld was the media’s darling, a rock star. This was before the public tired of his increasingly peevish koans. And this was when a majority of Americans believed that Saddam caused the 9/11 attacks. You may recall the partisan American gloating and bullying about so-called “Old Europe” (France and Germany) as certain politicians assembled the Coalition of the Willing (because many, including the French, were Unwilling). Viewed from an arch literary pimpernelish point of view, the situation has turned. The fiction is that the Frenchies are effete. They never win a battle, etc. (Remember Napoleon, anyone? How about Admiral DeGrasse? The US Navy named a ship after him.). This grew more and more ridiculous, with some politicians suggesting that graves of American G.I.s who died in France should be moved to the U.S.A. Congressional cafeteria French fries became “Freedom Fries”. Some markets across the country began to throw out French cheeses, and dump champagne in the gutter.
In my opinion, it was appallingly stupid, not just a form of devolution, but rude on a global scale. Aside from the politics which have proved stupid, it was just bad behavior.
During this embarrassing cultural moment, in my little panorama, far from D.C., a few small things happened in counter-reaction.
One, I saw a cyclist whizzing down Portland’s Hawthorne Boulevard carrying a huge French tricolor.
Two, I wrote the local French consulate to let her know that my low opinion of this anti-French gloating. (She wrote back, telling me that everything was going to be okay.)
Three, I wrote a satire for my column in a bike magazine adopting the Pimpernel to my purposes.
Right after I wrote the story, which involves our local Joan of Arc statue, unidentified beer-drinking men poured flammable fluid on the statue, and set it afire. They broke some of it too. I can’t prove it, but I’m sure these criminals felt inspired by partisan pseudo-patriotic hatred of the French which was promoted at the time by our troglodyte leaders.
If you listen to the podcast, you will probably see how all this fits in. Narrating the story aloud gives me the opportunity to practice my French, which is poor, but if I may say so, I think does well for silly, comical purposes. The French have such a strong, wonderful culture and way of life, one aspect of that is opportunities for affectionate satiric treatment.
The idea of the live statue comes to me from, again, Russian literature… The animated statue of Peter the Great, the bronze horseman haunts a character in Andrey Bely’s novel St. Petersburg, which is how I absorbed, but I believe the image came to Bely from Pushkin.
There used to be a pneumatic message system across Paris. That was my inspiration for the Cyclo-Pimpernel’s system. The internet, as another troglodtye leader has told us, is just a series of tubes, after all.
There are many examples of comical superheroes, which generally helped inspire me. (One of my favorites is DangerMouse. I used to wake up at 5:30 am just to watch it.)
It was difficult for me to narrate the Cyclo-Pimpernel’s mock-stentorian voice, but I did the best I could, after many tries. Also I didn’t belabor my efforts his theme song, which is sort of groovily driving forward and yet half-coming apart, which I liked for a comic hero, and I think is okay to listen to for 30 seconds. Aside from the time it took to write the story (three years or so ago), it took maybe 15-20 hours to do the podcast.
I went up into the attic, so as not to scare my sensitive-eared guinea pigs with my odd voices… it started to rain. I left the sporadic pitter-patter in.
I wrote another Cyclo-Pimpernel, published in two parts in 2003 I think, concerning a battle with a certain bicycle logo. I wrote parts of two more, but then stopped writing for that magazine.
I stopped writing for them after longstanding non-payment, and worse, after two book anthologies picked up a few of my stories that they had published, they quietly tried to assert copyright over my stories.
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